Colors Make Me Smile.

It's true. I love colors. Color combinations to be exact. It makes for superb scrapbooking and crafting skills, I must say. I'm like a slightly right brained Martha Stewart in the making. :) I think thats pretty neat.

Last night, and the night before, I prayed that my eyes would be opened to how the Lord loves. That I would see the world as a new canvas, and see the beauty that He's made. I want to see the beauty of the Lord. And I found it. :) Probably just a smidgin, but it was enough to keep me smiling all day. And right now, in this moment, I'm pretty happy. :)

I went to the beach twice this weekend, to add to my freckle collection. (see color coordinated, freckle faced girl here. )

I l.o.v.e. the beach. I always have, but after being here, I don't ever want to live far away from a beach ever again. It's, in a word, lovely. I played hooky from church this morning, and my roomates and I had brunch on the beach instead. We laid out, took pictures, and played frisbee in the sand, right where the waves come and touch your toes and you can catch the foam in your hands. It was the most fun I've had during the 3 months that I've been here. I read a little Steinbeck and later swam in the pool, and over lunch I talked to my beautiful friend Sara. In all of this, God showed himself to me.






In a game of frisbee.
In a little girl's joy for the waves.
In relationships.
In long talks.
In openness.
In creativity.
In places.
In movies.
In new opportunities.
In freckles.


And In Colors. :)


loveyoubunches!
Anna

Freckles :)

So living in Southern California, I've been in the sun a lot more. Usually, it takes a while for me to get tan, but it doesn't take much to get a lot more freckles. :) There's no real significance in that, other than I just really like them. I didn't use to, but after a while I got over it and embraced them. So, when you see me next, I'll probably have twice the amount of freckles compared to the last time you saw me. That is neat:)

I was talking to a friend last week, and due to the course of our conversation, she confessed to me that she really felt like I had made an impression on her. She said that I really "bring something" into a conversation, and into her life at the time, that inspired her. As soon as she said it I was overjoyed to know that I was making an impact on someone. This is what I have been praying for-That people would see the difference in my life through Jesus, just in simple conversations; in the way I talk to them. That night while I was journaling, I thanked my Father so many times, with sincere gratitude for using me to make an impact on her.

Until tonight, I had missed a completely crucial part to this entire story. Any good in me really comes from the Lord, so what she sees as different, is really Jesus. I had thanked God over and over for how He has been using me and working through me, but failed to praise Him because He is Good, and it was His Goodness that has begun to seep into my friend. I was so exited to be helping to change people, that I forgot who it was that was doing the changing. Even though my intentions were, I think at least, honorable, there was still enough "me" involved, to make God's part not seem involved enough.

I hope this wasn't confusing. It may be one of those things that only I'll understand because it has to do with the way I felt in a particular moment. Who knows, but I'll leave you with this. He deserves praise. All the time. Just because He is who He is.

The beginning of developing a servant's heart is first asking the Lord what you can do for Him.


Proverbs 22:11
LoveYouBunches

Anna

The Fear You Won't Fall.

I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you.


Joshua Radin.




Today I needed, and wanted, to write. I was filled with inspiration on multiple occasions, for multiple different feelings and directions. I wanted to write for the people I love, I needed to write for the words unsaid, and longed to write for the small triumphs that come with discovering yet another layer of my heart that is pulled away. Brokenness at any point, and on any scale in someone's life, leads to disguises. Blankets. Walls. Rooms with doors once open, but closed. Quietly, tightly. 


I am a believer in the big questions. If we never dig for answers, we'll never go any deeper. In taking my own advice, I've realized that although I live my life as an open book, writing my heart on a page, fear and fear of hurt has caused me to avoid writing a part of a story that needs to be written. 


Someday, that door needs to open. Someday, someone will come knocking. I locked the door, lost the key, and lost my way. Even if I could open it, I don't know how to.


Brokenness breaks people. Fear freezes people. Hopelessness hurts people. 






Break down the walls. Break down the walls.






Break down the walls.