Something Beautiful.

     Well kids, I think that it's about time that I let you know what is going on in my life, not just my head. :) Over the past two years I have really fallen in love with songwriting and challenging myself with new ways of telling stories,and melodies that I can't let go. So then, it is time for you to see and hear what I have been dreaming and creating for some time now. I'll be using another blog from now on, bellaamore.tumblr.com . Hopefully, in a few weeks time, you will be able to get there by typing in annajepson.com, but until then, this is what I've got ;) Feel free to navigate the links on the side, with a Facebook page to come soon. Music and videos will be coming within the next couple of weeks, and then the EP release is September 21st. I'm taking a big breath here guys, and I think I'll hold it for a while.

     I have to admit, I have been really cautious about how I have approached it, and discovered that most of what I thought was me being cautious was actually fear. Fear of rejection, inadequacy, or misinterpretation. But then I realize that in the areas of fear, there is an issue of control, and where there is control, there must be surrender. So I choose instead, to live in freedom, despite my fears, and allow something beautiful to shine where I can't shine as bright.


i love you bunches.
Anna


Something Beautiful.

Why Not?

So I talked to a friend recently, and he said that his new motto for life is "Why Not?" I thought it was pretty awesome. I'm sitting in Saints Cafe on Beaver Ave in State College, and I think I've just embraced the "Why Not" philosophy. Yesterday, my youth pastor Tim spoke at church, and Rocked it. But the point of his message was the importance of community, and playing it safe as people, as a church. He mentioned taking risks, and challenged us to think about our lives, and if we were taking risks. I thought about my life, right then and there, and I thought, yea, I do take risks. But I want to take more for the Kingdom- it's worth it.

There are a few things that the Lord has put on my heart in an unstoppable way, if that makes sense. Things that get me so riled up that I have to do something about it. As you know, music is one. Another is raising awareness of the sex trade, prostitution, and how adoption can help end all of them. God wants me to show the broken where there's healing. Well, I've been given a lot of ideas and visions over the past 6 months for how to go about that, and I think I may have just stumbled upon something. I was thinking, I have this idea. I have this passion. I have talented people around me, and multiple resources. I should do something about it. I should start a campaign.



I mean, Why Not?

Butterflies.

So this, is what they mean
when they say butterflies
catch you by surprise
So this, is what we'll say
When we're old and gray
And leave, A legacy
That butterflies brought you to me.

- New Song that warms my Heart :)


Today is my parents 25th wedding anniversary, and I could not be more exited about it. 25 is a big milestone! We had a large group of people out at the house 2 weekends ago, and we celebrated my Dad's 50th and had a little tribute to them as a couple. The older I get, the more I realize how influential my parents have been on my life, and how their wisdom and faith have shaped mine. Usually when someone comments on my perspective of a situation, it's usually because I had made a mistake in the past and learned from it. But the more I desire and pray for wisdom, the more I realize that the main place I get it form is my parents. They have always been open and honest with me. They are my friends, but parents first. Which brings me to an incredibly important point: communication. The Jepson Family is a talkative one. Now, I understand that not all people are as transparent as we are, however, the importance of clear and honest communication is so essential. In any and all relationships- With friends and couples, you need to be able to work out kinks, issues, likes dislikes, etc. With Jesus you need to be willing to be open enough with yourself so that you can be open with Him. Communication is always a two way street, but if you aren't willing to address the reality in your own life, you may not get very far. I have to remind myself of this often- to not be afraid to ask yourself the big questions. To be unafraid of what you may be afraid of. To be unafraid of the answers you don't want to hear. To be unafraid of being real.

Rearranging Furniture

So I've been pretty much everywhere lately. Except this blog I guess. Woopsies :) Time for an update. I left LA on May first, and have been missing it ever since. For some reason, I've always wanted to be there. Not really because of the Hollywood vibe, but because it's just awesome. Its beautiful- mountains, beach, city, parks, culture. So.Much.Culture. Also, I'm pretty sure that I would be ok with being a beach bum. I can't get enough of the beach- it makes me so happy. :) Which brings me to this- my new musica! I'm exited to be debuting (?) myself to the world soon. The EP is all about sunshine- its about beautiful days, people, places, and hearts. And its going to be wrapped up in a pretty little package and filled with smiles, or at least I hope it will make you smile. Now that the recording is all done, there isn't much left to do, and you will hear it soon:)

In other news, I have been traveling for the past month. And I loved it. My Dad and I (who is now half of a hundred years old) drove from LA to Flagstaff (hiked the Grand Canyon) to Memphis to Knoxville. In Knoxville we took a couple days off from driving, and then we went our separate ways again. I headed back West to Nashville for recording, met my friend Sara, made sweet music, and then headed back up to State College Pennsylvania. Happy Valley:) After being all over the US, State College is a nice break. I stayed there for one night, then drove up to Boston for a few days, and then back home. But the traveling isn't over. I had a week to rest and then drove back down to Nashville to finish up the tracks. I'm writing this from my friends house in Franklin, while watching 500 Days of Summer :) It's back to State College for the summer tomorrow morning. Hello 12 hour drive.

I've been rearranging all my possessions. Like rearranging the furniture to cover where you've been.

Open Your Eyes.

     
     Do you have an open mind? I feel like in a lot of ways, it's like my mind is like the sky. And in other ways, I feel like it's a safe. I'm a dreamer. I believe the impossible to be possible. The unlikely to be, very likely. I believe that the mundane should live wildly and passionately. I believe in an awakening; a Revolution. Which brings me to Jamie Oliver: Chef, Television Personality, Dreamer, and Revolution Starter. He has a new show on ABC (Friday nights at 9, and Hulu after that) that centers around his passions. In every way. He is passionate about food, cooking, people, and bringing change for the better. But the brilliant thing about the show, and Jamie, is that he isn't trying to just bring change, he wants them to choose it. He desires to open their eyes, to show the people of Huntington, West Virginia their lives  from a different perspective. He's gathering these people, and showing them the effects of their lifestyle. By his example, he is teaching them that cooking and a healthy lifestyle isn't that difficult, not to mention extremely beneficial.  
      Jamie and his show has been so encouraging for me. I was able to see someone who, against his odds, win people with his passion. It is so nice to know that there are people who believe crazily like I do. I'm not satisfied with a less than crazy love. I'm not satisfied with a 9 to 5 that only pays the bills. I don't accept the belief that any task is too big. I don't accept the idea that my dreams are just dreams. I am a barbarian, as Eriwn McManus would say, and in a lot of ways, so is Jamie Oliver. He's been placed in an area where he can reach the masses through television. He is bringing a revolution through pop culture. It's a slightly different avenue that I feel called to, but it is proof that Pop Culture can, and will, bring change for the better in this country- and the world. Yes, I do dream that big. And so does Jamie Oliver.


      He's infectious. He is passionate about cooking, and believes that he can literally extend years to a person's life, just by teaching them how to cook.


 Deep rooted passion (and love) is contagious. People desire that. Other than an obvious display of how we were made for more than the mundane, this is one of the best supporting arguments that I have ever heard for the existence and pursuit of Jesus. 


So ask yourself, are you contagious? 

Colors Make Me Smile.

It's true. I love colors. Color combinations to be exact. It makes for superb scrapbooking and crafting skills, I must say. I'm like a slightly right brained Martha Stewart in the making. :) I think thats pretty neat.

Last night, and the night before, I prayed that my eyes would be opened to how the Lord loves. That I would see the world as a new canvas, and see the beauty that He's made. I want to see the beauty of the Lord. And I found it. :) Probably just a smidgin, but it was enough to keep me smiling all day. And right now, in this moment, I'm pretty happy. :)

I went to the beach twice this weekend, to add to my freckle collection. (see color coordinated, freckle faced girl here. )

I l.o.v.e. the beach. I always have, but after being here, I don't ever want to live far away from a beach ever again. It's, in a word, lovely. I played hooky from church this morning, and my roomates and I had brunch on the beach instead. We laid out, took pictures, and played frisbee in the sand, right where the waves come and touch your toes and you can catch the foam in your hands. It was the most fun I've had during the 3 months that I've been here. I read a little Steinbeck and later swam in the pool, and over lunch I talked to my beautiful friend Sara. In all of this, God showed himself to me.






In a game of frisbee.
In a little girl's joy for the waves.
In relationships.
In long talks.
In openness.
In creativity.
In places.
In movies.
In new opportunities.
In freckles.


And In Colors. :)


loveyoubunches!
Anna

Freckles :)

So living in Southern California, I've been in the sun a lot more. Usually, it takes a while for me to get tan, but it doesn't take much to get a lot more freckles. :) There's no real significance in that, other than I just really like them. I didn't use to, but after a while I got over it and embraced them. So, when you see me next, I'll probably have twice the amount of freckles compared to the last time you saw me. That is neat:)

I was talking to a friend last week, and due to the course of our conversation, she confessed to me that she really felt like I had made an impression on her. She said that I really "bring something" into a conversation, and into her life at the time, that inspired her. As soon as she said it I was overjoyed to know that I was making an impact on someone. This is what I have been praying for-That people would see the difference in my life through Jesus, just in simple conversations; in the way I talk to them. That night while I was journaling, I thanked my Father so many times, with sincere gratitude for using me to make an impact on her.

Until tonight, I had missed a completely crucial part to this entire story. Any good in me really comes from the Lord, so what she sees as different, is really Jesus. I had thanked God over and over for how He has been using me and working through me, but failed to praise Him because He is Good, and it was His Goodness that has begun to seep into my friend. I was so exited to be helping to change people, that I forgot who it was that was doing the changing. Even though my intentions were, I think at least, honorable, there was still enough "me" involved, to make God's part not seem involved enough.

I hope this wasn't confusing. It may be one of those things that only I'll understand because it has to do with the way I felt in a particular moment. Who knows, but I'll leave you with this. He deserves praise. All the time. Just because He is who He is.

The beginning of developing a servant's heart is first asking the Lord what you can do for Him.


Proverbs 22:11
LoveYouBunches

Anna

The Fear You Won't Fall.

I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you.


Joshua Radin.




Today I needed, and wanted, to write. I was filled with inspiration on multiple occasions, for multiple different feelings and directions. I wanted to write for the people I love, I needed to write for the words unsaid, and longed to write for the small triumphs that come with discovering yet another layer of my heart that is pulled away. Brokenness at any point, and on any scale in someone's life, leads to disguises. Blankets. Walls. Rooms with doors once open, but closed. Quietly, tightly. 


I am a believer in the big questions. If we never dig for answers, we'll never go any deeper. In taking my own advice, I've realized that although I live my life as an open book, writing my heart on a page, fear and fear of hurt has caused me to avoid writing a part of a story that needs to be written. 


Someday, that door needs to open. Someday, someone will come knocking. I locked the door, lost the key, and lost my way. Even if I could open it, I don't know how to.


Brokenness breaks people. Fear freezes people. Hopelessness hurts people. 






Break down the walls. Break down the walls.






Break down the walls.

It's Nice to Be Met.

Today, I made cupcakes, which I have posted on my Tumblr. They are cute and curly and amazing. And honestly, it took all afternoon. But it was so worth it. It's like a way for my mind to detox. Then at 5, I drove in town to a place called PATH (people assisting the homeless) and made dinner for the people there. PATH is different than other homeless shelters, it's actually more of a stepping stone than a shelter. There is an application process and commitment/rehab depending on what your story is. A lot of the people there were people who had had jobs, but lost them recently and had been trying to find a new place. I know what you're thinking, because I was too. What about their families? Honestly, I don't know. With the woman that I talked too, it seemed like she was too proud to accept help, but I guess I know how that goes. She doesn't want to put people out all the time, and that is understandable. But I think that the real factor is that their families are lacking real love. I'm currently reading and studying 2 Timothy chapter 3, and I've been praying about the "without love" part. I read it last night, and I thought of how empty life is without it. My prayer was and is that God would use me to change that. Today, I think He started. :) We can't be a people without love. We can't be a people without love.

I met a man named Bobby too. He was the first person I introduced myself to. I said

"Hi, I'm Anna."

"Hi, I'm Bobby."

"It's very nice to meet you Bobby."

"It's nice to be met."


He truly said that. Sometimes, it's just nice to be met.

love someone today.

loveyoubunches.
Anna

Call me Sentimental.

I started a new creative outlet. :)

bellaamore.tumblr.com

It's just snippets of my day that I get to share with you. It's a lot more artsy and me :) Call me sentimental. And hopefully, you'll be able to see a lot more of this city that is slowly winning my heart. There is so much to do here. I went on a hike over the weekend- 3 1/2 miles up, 3 1/2 miles down. (thats 7 miles, yall) It was amazing- something I've wanted to do since I got here. So with that, in addition to taking more pictures for you to see, I'm going to research outdoor things to do here. I want to spend as much time out in this beautiful area as I can. Pictures to come:)


loveyoubunches :)

Anna

So, let's do this again sometime.

I'm talking to the mountains. The ocean. Today, I went hiking. And I've decided that from now on, I am taking pictures everywhere I go. Los Angeles may be a dirty place, but California is not. You need to see how beautiful it is. We hiked from the bottom of the mountain to the very top, and back down again- A total of 7 miles. It was wonderful; I love being outside. In addition to being able to soak up sun and God's beautiful creation, I met some beautiful people with beautiful dreams. Molly was my hiking buddy for most of the trip, and we got to talk about how God has given her a passion for the Earth, particularly the oceans. She loves reefs and research. I'm exited to get to know her, and others, a lot more.

For dinner, I grabbed some Sushi with my roommate and her (and my new) friend Jessie. We had such a great conversation, about things that are really important. To us, the world, to you- things that matter. It was lovely.

Today was inspiring.  I pray that your days ahead will be filled with awe and wonder. That you wouldn't be afraid to ask the big questions of your life, and in this life. That you would be challenged, questioned, and encouraged. Live like you were meant to. There is a whole lot out there- a whole lot more to live for.

loveyoubunches.

Sprinkles.* :)

First things first- I am no longer homeless, and finally have a place. I'm writing from the couch as I watch RENT for the very first time. Talk about buzz kill. But today was still a good day. :)

I went to Sprinkles today. It's a famous cupcake shop in Beverly Hills. I got one for the girl I am staying with now, and one for the girl I stayed with last week. (and of course one for myself, and coffee, always coffee. :) ) If you don't know this about me, you're about to hear one of my lifelong dreams. I've always wanted to open a bakery. It would be super cute, and white, and clean, and everything would be classy and petite and organized, and the cupcakes would be so cute that you almost wouldn't want to eat them. :) I wouldn't have just cupcakes though of course. I'm an almost-pro/wants-to-be-pro cookie maker :) And there would be cakes, and maybe salads. And Coffee. Always coffee. Now, all of this is really only possible if I somehow inherit a ton of money or make a lot of money and see the bakery as a good investment. I'm not really planning on making as much money as this business would cost. Although it would be nice.

But its fun to dream.

Until now, I'll stick with occasional trips to cupcake places across Los Angeles. Any other suggestions other than Sprinkles?

loveyoubunches!

Anna

this post had a lot of smilies. maybe i should get cupcakes more often, i think it's good for my soul.

:)

Cartoons, Cereal, and Eating Out of a Mug.

Currently what I'm doing right now. I've probably said it before, but the only way to eat cereal is out of mugs. And my favorite way to start out my day, besides maybe a run, is to watch cartoons. I write this as I'm snuggled up in my new Transformers blanket. No shame. :) I'm also writing this from an apartment from a friend I met, only a week and a half ago. I'm moving from one place to the next, into homes of people I barely know, and mastering living out of a suitcase. I had a place secured to move in at the end of this week, but got an email from her yesterday saying that it wasn't going to work out.

And then I realized.

Besides the 3 or 4 weeks that I was home for Christmas break, I've had no home of my own since the beginning of November. After coming back to Boston from a weekend in State College, I was greeted with a letter from management saying that if my once upon a time roommate didn't pay rent, that I would be evicted. Well, it wasn't going to be paid, so I had to move all of my things down the street about 3 blocks to my friend Sarah's place, who I miss like crazy. I lived out of one really big suitcase then, and I'm using the same one right now. I have been basically, homeless. I mean, not actually homeless, because I have a couch to sleep on or a place to crash. But there is definitely something that God is trying to teach me.

We'll see where I am in a week. :)

loveyoubunches.

Anna

My Favorite Time of Year. (besides Christmas) :)

The Grammys, ladies and gents.

For as long as I can remember this has been my favorite thing to watch on tellevision. I feel like no matter what age I am or will be, I'll always watch the screen like a kid in a candy store, glossy eyed and dreamy. But this year was different, a little. :) I usually wait around for the good performances and the "big ones" like album of the year, but this year, all I wanted to do was find out who won what awards. Beyonce and Taylor Swift collected more awards in one night that I can imagine in a lifetime. Crazy, absolutely crazy. You know, I'm not sure what exactly the Grammys does to Los Angeles as a whole, but I can tell you that E!'s music department is rather sparce this morning-only one of 3 supervisors is in, and then every other cubicle that is normally full is empty. So it's me, Nick (my boss) and Sarah, the other intern. But I'm writing this aren't I? So it can't be too terrible ;)

So a while back I wrote about what God has put on my heart for Pop culture. Well, I must say, as passionate as I have become about seeing revival in a dark place, working for E! has hit me hard with the reality of the emptyness of it all. It's all about fashion, and lights, and glamour, and celebrities, and causing hype, and just....life that isn't real. So many people watch hours of tellevision and search the web about their favorite celebrities and what they were wearing last night, or who they were with, and it's just really discouraging. I don't think that being at E! is coincidence. This company is pretty much as worldly as it gets. It is nothing but the surface of things. Sometimes I feel like pop culture is so long gone that I'm not going to be able to do anything about it, but then, as we know, I may be small, but I certainly don't think that means I'm made for small things. I've been reading "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. Honestly, it's a potentially life changing book. I think he totally has it right- We have forgotten the power of the Spirit. I mean, imagine what life would look like if we really lived knowing that the Spirit was in us every day. And then on top of that, what God has been encouraging me towards lately, is praying with expectations. Put believing in the Power of the Spirit and praying with expectations and I think you have an unstoppable force. This Sunday God showed me what praying with expectations looks like, even if it was a small request. He answered my prayers about connecting at church way beyond what I thought, and I am now super involved and invited to multiple events within the next couple of weeks. It may seem small, but its the result of really believing what I was praying for. In addition to all of this power of prayer business, I've been reminded multiple times over the past week that I'm not understanding certain things and directions because I'm not asking for them specifically. I'm praying really broadly, on a "possible" level, but God can make the impossible, possible. We don't recieve because we don't ask, right? To put icing on the cake, yesterday at church, the speaker mentioned how we need to ask God for the impossible, and believe that He can do it. I've been overwhelmed with the Spirit this week, in the most wonderful way possible.

So with that, I know that I'm supposed to be believing and asking boldly in prayer, but I'm still unsure of what it is exactly that I am supposed to be asking for. I guess I'll just have to start moving, becasue going in circles isn't nearly as fun.

loveyoubunches!
Anna

So, it's Saturday, and Sunny.

And I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about going down to the beach and going for a run. I'm not exactly sure where there is to run up here. I'm temporarily staying in the Topanga, basically the mountains above Malibu-ish. And it's crazy hilly (actually mountainish, like straight up and down). I'd be nuts to try and run down, and then probably more nuts to want to run back up, but then I have to use gas monies. No good. Speaking of gas monies, I used a ton on Tuesday. I literally had no where to go, so I just drove. It was exactly what I needed. Plenty of time to calm my heart and my mind. I'm ready to go.

In other news, I went to my first college party yesterday. Yup. Guess what, I'd rather be playing Banana-Grams. Much more fun. I had to drive someone home, so all I had was a Sprite, not that I'd want to be drinking anything anyways. It seems that hygiene goes out the window at those things- I couldn't really handle it. It's pretty nasty. But! I did have fun meeting people. My friend Brianna is an actress, and convinced the entire room that she was British, and her name was Elizabeth Bennet, named after the character of course. She even put her name in someone's phone that way. Good times. It was my entertainment for the evening.

So my internship, is pretty boring. So Far. I sit at a desk all day. For all of you that do that, props to you, really, because it was day two and I was counting the hours. There are a lot of fun things that I can benefit from, like tapings and gatherings and things like that. But all in all, I really can't complain, because my job is to listen to different kinds of music all day long. My boss gives me a job, like a scene or an opening song, and tells me what it's supposed to feel like, sound like, fit with, etc. Then I research and give him the best ones. Yesterday was a slight fail, I had a really hard time finding exactly what he needed, and the software on the computer is so outdated that it makes it even harder. Lame. Hopefully it'll be fixed sometime next week.

Thats sort of my week. On Wednesday I went to a college ministry called Quest, and met a lot of people. That's who I went out with last night. I'm still trying to go to Mosaic though, which I loved last week. Ima hit it up tomorrow.

loveyoubunches:)

Anna

With my soles to the ground, You open the sea.

It's time for me to be entirely transparent with you. I'm terrified. I'm terrified of not knowing where my feet are going to land step after step. This city is a big place for a little person. Boston was beautiful, clean, comforting, and homey. Los Angeles is not. However, it's not that I don't like it so far, because I do. It's the uncertainty that it holds that is terrifying.

Today, I got to go to Mosaic, which is a church that I've wanted to go to for months now. They were started by my favorite Christian author, Erwin McManus who travels and speaks and does all kinds of important things, so naturally, I knew he wasn't going to be at the service to speak this morning-But I was wrong. :)

After a sweet 25 or so minutes of worship, the speaker came up from the left side of the auditorium, and it was him. I was stoked. We talked to someone after the service, and apparently he's committed to be there for a lot of Sundays, but that's irrelevant. Mosaic is on a new series, called "Fresh Start". Today's passage was Joshua chapter 3. After reading the passage, we looked at the very beginning of the book, where God tells Joshua that Moses is dead, and it is now his job to lead the people. In verse 3 God tells Joshua that He will give him every place where he sets his foot. These two variables became Erwin's two points. Firstly, after the Lord tells Joshua Moses is dead, He asks him to lead. Ergo, a very terrified Joshua. Secondly, Joshua was to then live a life of faith and obedience to the Lord, and he would be given wherever he placed his foot. Another point of the message (verse 5). What would life be like if we lived life, knowing that in every step we took, tomorrow God would do amazing things among us...

So anyways, I say all of this because every word that was said this morning was something that I had already thought of and tried to deal with this week. I know that in this area of my life, God is going to show me a side of faith, and my relationship with Him, that I haven't seen or experienced yet. And yea, I'm scared-I'm in a new city with no friends, no family, no place to live (currently), and God is calling me to be a leader in a secular environment. I'm just a little overwhelmed, but the Lord has put all of this in my life for a reason, and the book of Joshua at a perfect time.

Joshua 1:9. Have I not commanded you? Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

LoveYouBunches.

Anna

Galations 5:13

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

It was my facebook verse of the day. I never look at that particular app anymore since fb revamped it's whole layout, but I liked this verse. It's just, good. Read it a few times, and meditate on it. You can't help but get pumped, possibly humbled at first, but trust me, it leads to pumped. :)

So I'm here in LA, with my Mom who so kindly decided to come help me out with the whole getting settled thing. Good thing too, cuz we're still apartmentless and staying in a hotel. I had a few places lined up, but they got the kabosh from the Mom, so we're still looking. God did provide a car for me however. :) I now rock a 98 honda accord. Woot. So I guess keep praying. I'm also sort of sick, a cold I guess. It's just sorta blah. Mom is leaving on Tuesday so time is running out. God will provide however, He keeps His promises. :)

loveyoubunches.

Anna

Welcome to Hollywood.

So over the summer I tried out for American Idol. It's something everyone should do by the way, regardless of if you can sing or not. It's so much fun. But I had a terrible audition, and didn't make it through, which I wasn't too upset about, cuz I had an awesome time with my friend Mariah. :)

But I'm sitting here, watching American Idol, on west coast time, sitting in bed in Los Angeles, and realizing that all these kids were screaming "I'm going to Hollywood!" And at one point last summer that was something I could have been saying, thinking about how I'd be in California sunshine in January instead of Boston's unruly wind.

I may not have made it through American Idol, but God still brought me here. His own way. I was going to be in LA no matter what.

I thought it was kinda awesome.

Well Kids, I'm 21.

It's true. As of 21 minutes ago........Ok now 34. In those 13 minutes of dots, I was watching Erwin McManus videos on YouTube. I am so exited to check out all of the awesome churches in Los Angeles. Oh, I suppose this would be LA's blog debut!

I'm moving to Los Angeles.

For a semester that is. Possibly more. I never really seem to know when it comes to this kind of thing. God really takes the wheel and then I follow, sometimes accelerating, sometimes braking, but usually just trying to figure out where I am in the road trip after waking up from a nap. Right now I'm moving quickly but cautiously towards LA. It's a lot less safe than Boston, for one, but secondly, 3 to 4 months is a pretty small amount of time, and after that, I really have no idea what I am going to do. I'm 99 percent sure I'm not going back to Berklee, but the one percent is there simply because I can't really be sure about anything. Penn State is an option for me, but I'm not entirely sure what I would major in. It's a blessing, and slight annoyance, when you're pretty sure you have grasped what God's calling is in your life. Going back to Penn State, when looking at where I really believe my life is headed, is sort of illogical. But then staying in Los Angeles with only a mediocre job that can't pay off my student loans isn't such a good option either.

I think, well actually I know, that my parents worry much more about my life than I do. They have a wider peripheral vision than I do. I guess it's also a way that I keep myself from stressing out too much. I have a task before me and I need to focus on that first. Then I'll allow myself to succumb to complete and total stress attacks.

Heh. Just kidding. I really do enjoy the way my God has led me so far. He knows that the more He tells me, the more I'll try to figure out, and what's the fun in that? It's God's way of shaping me, preparing me, for whatever it is I'm headed towards. I know it has to do with shining a light in a dark place, and creating a revolution through art, film, music, anything-popculture. People need to be inspired before they can even realize that there is something even deeper that they crave, and I think it's my job to inspire them.

I heard something in church today while someone was talking about the Avatar movie. He said that He was glad that we didn't worship creation, but the Creator. Why would we want to worship creation when we can worship the Creator? God has made us to live for so much more. Switchfoot is ahead of the game.

loveyoubunches.