High School.

High school and my high school friends have really been on my heart today. I'm not sure why, but i've been taking it and just praying for them. It's sort of strange, well, a lot strange, because i sort of hated high school. I couldn't wait to get out-people were great, class wasn't hard, but i was just over it before it started ha. At any rate, i've been thinking about it, and Penn State, and just the whole life i could have had. And then i think about what the Lord has done in my life over the past two years. It's pretty unreal, how much and how quickly, He has taken what ever simple prayer of guidance and surrender i had, and turned into something real. I was thinking, i really, reeeally like being the girl who comes home from music school. But not even that anymore, i actualy have songs to play, music ive written- I'm finally doing what i was made for. I'm writing a new song, and it starts like this -I've always been a dreamer, 5 foot 2 believer. And honestly, it couldnt be more honest. its sort of a fun cheesy lyric, but its true! i've always been an out-of-boxer, a star shooter, a dreamer. but i ignored it for so long, becuase i didnt think it was right.

who trys to be a musican?

do you know how slim that is?

youre not living in the real world.

be practical.

you arent actually that good.

you wont make it.

do you want to make money?

you must just be selfish.

its a silly dream.

from the probably the age of 10 until my freshman year of college, this was a never ending battle in my mind. (when i say things like that the fact that i am still so young makes me cringe a little. sort of like an odd way of humbling myself-ha) the thing i thought aboust most was that it was just a silly dream, and it wasnt practical. i felt insecure because i thought it was a self seeking desire. but we know, through a lot of pulling and pushing, God showed me otherwise.

My point is, dreamers are necessary. DREAMS are necessary. For every human being God ever breathed life into, there is something that gets their hearts exited. Something that afterward, the feel as if they've lived that day right. For some people its like knowing their whole life that they wanted to marry early, and have kids, and that was the desire of their heart. for others, they knew early on that they wanted to help people. for some people, they've had a dream of owning one of the biggest companies in America. For me, a big dreamer, ive known that all i ever wanted to do was make music. I'm smiling at myself as i type this. I honestly can't explain how deep this desire runs through me. I remember taking tests in high school, looking at the paper, maybe knowing the answers, maybe not, and thinking, well, "this is nice now, but in the long run, i'm going to be making music". Ask anyone in my high school, most of them probably would tell you that they didn't even know I sang. Over summer break, i was looking through my old journals, some from when i was in elementary school, and in almost every entry, if i wasnt freeking out over some boy, i talked about my dreams. i even wrote terrible pop songs. at ten years old! It made me smile :) It was one of God's ways of confirming the desires of my heart i suppose. I like when He does that, He's my Friend :)

I say all of this because of a conversation I had with my friend at work today. Which, if you think of it, pray for opportunities for me to talk to them. Really talk to them. It's become my "mission field" more so than Berklee. They are an incredible group of people that i just love, and i really want to get to know them. But my friend is at BU, and a NeuroScience major and a Psychology minor. I asked him what he wanted to do, also chiming in that i assumed he wanted to work with people, and he looked at me and said, "You know, i dont know." I wasnt' really suprised i guess, a lot of college kids dont know what they want to do, i've been a lucky one. I waited for a little while and then i just told him this---- What gets your heart pumping? What's something you get life out of? What do you love? Do that. --- i think sometimes, as college students, we start thinking entirely too much in a career oriented field and not a God one. I think we're all too often closed minded. Let's change that. For all of my ACF friends struggling with direction, keep an open mind to the heart and mind of the One who hold its all. Search for your passions, and then see how they can be developed, moved, used. God gave you your hearts with your minds for a reason, and your passions and dreams for a purpose. - and He let's us figure out how it all goes together.

Have fun. :)

loveyoubunches!!

Anna :)

So, Lately, I've been into Sparkles.

Super out of the ordinary. And headbands. I'm getting more girly with age. Fear not. I still proudly sport the American Apparel. Thats all i got, nothin inspirational, its midterms for the next two weeks, my brain is starting to diiiieeeee...

loveyoubunchesbye!

I Want to Love You is All.

I want to love You

I want to know You

I want to love You

Is All

So Father Break Me

Until I'm nothing

I want to love You

Is All.

A new song from the weak parts of my spirit and the pages of my journal. Sometimes there isn't much to say, just say exactly what it is. I've played it for a few people, and so far it's their favorite song of mine. I'm exited for people to hear it. It doesn't take much to say what you need to say.

I've made friends with a girl named Sarah who also lives in Beacon Hill and is probably the only other Berklee student to live there. :) She is an extremely talented vocalist and songwriter-God has big things in store for her :) Talking about Sarah brings me to this. There are absolutely not absolutes in life. besides actually living and dying, which is life itself... and we begin the vicious circle.

Really, in terms of the music business, i feel like i have heard it all. At this point i am exited for the business aspect of it. i want to learn it, i want to succeed in it. It's a business, and i want to learn about it. But when it comes to actually selling records? Nothing actually matters. I'm serious. As new musicians at Berklee we're drilled with this idea of greatness all the time, coming in the form of new fresh lyrics or creative melodies, basically saying if you arent good, you dont have a chance. Although that may be a substantial truth, everyone knows that there is amazing talent out there, that never sees their career launch into a major label or retail store, adn then there are people who have great faces, perfect teeth and overdone hair, who go platinum. Country music is one genre with boggles my mind. As a writer, i sort of dabble with everything, but the most commercial things i write are for the country genre. My Essentials of Songwriting teacher was talking to us last week about her staff writing position she had earlier in her career. She said it was tough-everyone was writing, everybody's a somebody. If the competition is so fierce, why does country music continue to deliver the same style, lyrically and musically term after term, season after season, year after year? And why, is the music that sells seem to be the songs with the simple lyrics? I'm probably going into entirely too much detail about how my mind analyzes the whole thing, but it's so true. there are no absolutes. Great lyrics, poor lyrics, great voice, mediocre voice---it doesn't matter. What does? Who you know, and who knows you.

So guess who i know.

The Creator of the Universe.

Ima vote He has control of things.

loveyoubunches!

Heaven Song.

I want to run on greener pastures

I want to dance on higher hills

I want to drink from sweeter waters

In the misty morning chill

And my soul is getting restless

I can’t wait to join the angels and sing

my heaven song

Phil Wickham.

If you get a chance, check out the acoustic version of this song. You'll understand why he's my favorite artist.

I decided I'd drop a line or two, but with me it always seems to be more. I really shouldn't be doing anything but school work right now, but I just feel like writing. I'm in the process of finding an internship for next semester, in one of 3 cities: New York, Los Angeles, or Nashville. Depending on what my internship actually is, will delegate where I live. If i get a job with a label, my chances are pretty high to be in Nashville. Publishing and rights can also be Nashville, but a lot of New York. Los Angeles (and currently the front runner I think) will be a fusion of Music and the Entertainment industry (TV/Film). So far the search has been really fun, being able to see what's out there for us mere college kiddos. I'll keep you updated on where I'm applying and who gets back to me. As for school, its so busy- a lot of work. I have a new class, Song Demo in the Recording Studio, where basically, you record 2 demos by the end of the semester. The first demo is mixed/produced by and engineer, and the second is produced by yourself (which will be veeeeerrry interesting..) I'm recording on Thursday and still have yet to decide which song of mine I want to lay down. I think I may record a song called "Undone" about my own experiences with the blindness that bitterness puts over our eyes and the hurt it causes us without even knowing it. It sounds like a downer, but it's really a story of freedom and surrender. Finding that epifiny moment where you realize that being bitter or angry only hurts yourself and not the other person can be really life changing. It sounds so cliché, and simple, but when a situation like that arises, you DO become blind, and no matter how many times you hear something, it takes God's own divine and patient character to change us.

I finished "Chasing Daylight" but E.R. McCanus, and it was so empowering. It's the kind of writing that makes you want to live each day differently. He inspires you to truly live, and in Jesus. He said something that is fundamental to a life of Faith in Jesus, but is far too overlooked. We as Christians, evangelists, warriors, teachers, etc. need to continually remind ourselves to lean on Jesus. Great. We do. We need to lean on our One and Only source for anything, but, which way are we leaning? McCanus suggests that we are leaning backwards on the Lord, as He pushes us forward. This isn't how this is supposed to be! In our Walk, we should lean forward with God, on God, knowing He is Divine and seeing His works happen as they happen. I wrote a lyric during the summer and just last week wrote the song. It's called safely and the chorus goes like this.

I'm gonna jump off the water fall

sink into the waves

never touch the bottom

and somehow be ok

I'm losing my life

to all I know

Don't know the end of the story

but I'll get there

Safely

It's my visual way of explaining how Faith should be. It should be exhilarating. An adventure. That doesn't mean there aren't slow, shallow pools, or frightening rapids, but in the big picture, it's an adventure.

How good is our God that He offers a lifetime of adventure, just to say "I love You."