"If I perish, I perish."

Hi.

My name is Anna. I'm five foot, two inches tall, have brown hair, green eyes and freckles. i have an obsession with superheros and the color green, and quite recently, puggles. do you remember me?

...........yeaaaa

So, i basically didnt have internet all summer. Neat. but now i am here, back in Beantown, attending Bizerklee (as my Harmony teacher calls it), and enjoying the craziness life throws at me. or i guess the craziness Jesus throws at me. He's funny, you know. :)

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I've been reading a lot lately, fiction and inspiration, but currently i'm stuck on Erwin Raphael Mcmanus. he's a really great writer, transparent and entirely motivating. i'm reading his book "Chasing Daylight", about seizing the divine moment. God's been doing a lot in my life in that area lately. for example, a while ago i decided to read through and study the New Testament in it's entirety. well, i finished and decided, randomly (seemingly out of the blue but now i see it wasnt...) to read the book of Esther. heh. well, i didnt know it, but the book of Esther has a continual theme of courage in the hands of the Lord. its about knowing the Lord is good, trustworthy, and in control. the study note in my Bible for Chapter 4 verse 14 says this

"God is not specifically mentioned in the book of Esther, but it is obvious that Mordecai expected a divine deliverance. While the book of Esther does not mention God by name or title, His presence fills the pages. Esther and Mordecai believed in God's care, and because they acted at the right time, God used them to save His people.

When you face challenges in life, seek to know what God wants you to do, and then do it, confident that He will do His part. You dont know ahead of time how He will accomplish His will. Trust God and prepare to be surprised by the ways He demonstrates His trustworthiness."

I think He's saying, "Anna, look who I Am. I'm getting you ready for something, but you need to love me first." He's saying that sometimes, we dont need an ending. too often we try to be the writers of our stories. a lot of times actually. that makes faith entirely too comfortable. too often, we pray to our God, read His words, seek for answers, all while looking in a mirror. what about jumping of a cliff blindfolded? i think thats what faith is like sometimes. as long as we are with the Lord, seeking to know Him more, praying and reading His precious words to us, we can come to trust our passions and judgements a little bit more. God has brought me to a place where i don't think there is a right or wrong way to choose to go, but a Godly way. theres a sort of freedom and fearlessness that comes with that. and i am so exited about it. He's teaching me to let go. of everything really. to be able to seize the divine moment, live with courage and fearlessness, taking one step at a time through uncharted territories, splashing new colors each day on a fresh, blank canvas.

bottom line, live passionately. i want to see God's people living passionately, fearlessly, exitedly. life is love. be passionate. live with a guided fearlessness in the palm of His hands, and when you trace His footprints in the sand, RUN.

Too long, no Internet.

So I'm writing this from my iPhone... The Jepson household has been without Internet for over 2 weeks now, it's getting slightly rediculous. I have loan applications to fill out.... I gt the bill in the mail today reminding me ever so politely.... I'll update as soon as were back from the stone ages....

God of This City

For greater things have yet to come 
And greater things are still to be done in this City 
Greater things have yet to come 
And greater things are still to be done here 

Chris Tomlin.

so, heres a small, or big i suppose, lifedate from mahself. theres something that God has been calling me to for over a year now. sort of a Peter and the water moment. in what He's calling me to, it could go in almost any direction, and He can teach me absolutely anything He wants. it's really scary. and really out of my comfort zone, but this song has been on repeat all afternoon, and has been an incredible peacemaker/energizer for my heart. i feel like God is calling me to really really big things, things that i feel i am too small and ill-equipped to do. but Jesus reminds me that if He's asking me to do it, He has a reason, and i can do it, and to remember that His way is always best.

but in regards to this song. it's the status of my heart. these words are the words Jesus has been speaking to me over the past few months. He's getting ready to move in bigger ways than we've ever seen. Revival is coming. and when i say that i feel like i'm being called to big things, i realized that He's calling all of us to those things. greater things. BIG THINGS. Greater things are still to be done, greater things are still to be done here.

loveyoubunches!! =]

Winter Song.

My love a beacon in the night.

My words will be your light
To carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?

Winter Song-Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson 

i cant tell you how much i like this song. its beautiful. melodically-simple, innocent, bare. but the lyrics are incredible. whether this was their original intent for the song or not, from the moment i heard it, i heard Jesus talking. the lyrics are His words, speaking to me. what a great thing,  that because our Creator is the Creator of all things, He can teach through any possible medium. you know what else is awesome about Him? He IS yesterday, today, and forever. i saw the movie "Up" tonight. go see it, i think it's more of an adult film than a childrens film. but at any rate, Jesus used yet another aspect of Pop culture to teach me something-a big something. the main character in the movie is an old man named Mr. Fredrickson. he lived his entire life knowing the love of his life, and falling more in love with her every day. the kind of love that only fools can dream about. a Noah and Allie. but Ellie, his wife, passes away before him, and he looses his sense of life. i sat in the mushy seats, slightly cold from the airconditioned air, continually pushing up my 3-D glasses, and thought to myself "I want a love like that. but what if i'm not Ellie, what if i'm Mr. Fredrickson? what kind of despair would i endure? what happens to my heart?" and Jesus said immediately- in the most gentle, kind, and patient voice, 

"You have Me, Anna. You have Me."

The Revolution.

It's over, it's starting. That could be one of my favorite "life inevitables". My first semester at Berklee is officially over, and i am moving on to the wonderful creative opportunities summer has to offer. so stoked. its 2 am, and i should be sleeping, but first of all, i have no reason to get up tomorrow, so im not worried about it. :) and second of all, its been one of those days where my mind has gone from exhausted to non-stop working, back to exhausted, and well, now im back to working. this is also known as emotion-heh.

its been forever since ive written, so i guess i'll update my life a little. Berklee has been an incredible experience, in both life and music. God has done so much in my life. He's taken my mistakes and made beauty from it, He's rewarded me for obedience, He's showed me justice, given me a mere glimpse of His Heart for His people, felt His disappointment and forgiveness and love simultaneously--I have encountered our Father's heart in so, so many ways. when i say disappointment, i mean that there have been multiple times in the past year where i had heard what it was the Lord wanted me to do, and i did my own thing. i went my own way, ended up broken, and He didn't want to see me hurt, but rejoiced and welcomed me home when i turned around. i cant even tell you how many times i have looked at my life, my decisions, my heart, and asked God if He was sure He knew it was me He was saving. i wrote a song about it, and whether or not its ever recorded, produced, distributed, heard, whatever--it is a never ending song in my own life that always draws me nearer to Him in times like that. my prayer is that yes, it would be a song for the broken, for the sinners, for the lost. a song of brokenness. a song of redemption. a song of adoration.

God has begun to teach me about my life as a musician, and a what is looks like to be a Christian in a progressive industry. but before i even go into that, i want to say this.

God is building a revolution among His people. and i believe that it is in my generation, and if i may be so blessed, my children's generation. God is building a revolution. i believe this with every fiber in my being. A REVOLUTION! How sick is that?! and HE is calling US to be a part of it. to BE the Revolution.

Now in this, God has placed on my heart two very specific messages for His people, whether it be through my music, my writing, or simply my life: Healing and Apathy. can mediocre Christianity count as a Holy discontent? or is that just plain frustration? to be honest, mediocre Christianity is extremely frustrating, but ive found that its even more hurtful. i literally begin to hurt for my friends and family who are "playing it safe" and "going through the motions". this is where part of the revolution comes in. this whole halfwayChrsitian thing just isnt working. it never has. what mountains can we move with our own hands? we need the power of Jesus on our side, btu when we live in a comfortable, apathetic lifestyle, we become fruitless, and rely on only ourselves for our needs. this revolution is going ot be an awakening in the hearts of the "cruisers". He's going to take the low tide waves and turn them into tidalwaves, and the candle flames into wildfires. He's building a revolution.

The second thing that God has placed on my heart is the topic of healing. this comes from personal experience. God has written a story of healing and freedom in my life. as i have written before, my heart, like many of His people, had been withered, torn, and beaten. -and worst, it felt neglected, ignored, unwanted,worthless- a mistake. and nothing and no one could fix it. it was a cup that was once perfectly crafted, smooth and crystal clear, but was then picked up only to be dropped and shattered. i, myself, tried to put the glass back together with Elmers, but we all know how unreliable that is.....eventually i let the true artist fix its creation. the Potter took to the clay, in an entirely new way, and it happened in very visible stages. the edges were first simply picked up, then pieced back together, then they were molded together- not just glued. something that was way more powerful than glue. He reshaped it together. but there were scars. and sometimes they hurt, and sometimes they still do. but the beauty is not just in that the cup was fixed, but Who fixed it, because everytime i look at it, my eyes turn to it's Creator. This is God's desire. He desires to see the broken and wounded people of the world find freedom and healing in His hands. i belive that in many people's hearts, what keeps them from discovering the freedom of Jesus are the wounds and scars set deep into their hearts. Jesus took them for us, and that is the story He wants His people to hear. This is part of the revolution He is building.

He is building a revolution. Are you ready?

Eat more bananas.

i keep getting cramps in my feet. toes to be exact. but now its moving to my fingers as well. operation boostpotassium level is now in progress. im getting bananas tomorrow at shaws-second coolest grocery next to wegmans.

thank You God for bananas. You are awesome.

loveyoubunchesbye! =]

Swing.

I see my sister sitting on a swing. She knows she needs to get off. Its time for dinner and daddy’s calling. But she keeps on swingin. Im the kid waiting at the doorway, becoming more and more frustrated by the minute with my sisters stubbornness. Why cant she just get off the swing? Doesn’t she know that the dinner is her favorite? A perfect summer meal: dry rub ribs, caprese salad, corn on the cob, and freshly baked bread, not to mention a little lemonada.

Eventually, one by one the small tears stream down my face- at first in frustration, but then Daddy tells her what He's made for her. She looks at Him, stops for a brief moment, touches her tiny toes to the dry dusty earth, and then picks them back up and starts swinging. My tears of frustration quickly turn to hurt. I want her to be with me! I want her to discover what it is that Dad made for us! Why does she keep swinging? Why doesn’t she want this? Is the swing better? Why does she keep swinging?  Why does she keep swinging?

 

I think I’ve discovered the deeper levels of compassion, sympathy, and empathy, and they aren’t always the most pleasant of emotions. It's opened my eyes to the love and patience of my Father on an entirely new level. 

 

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.